Thinking way too much …

I spent a good part of the weekend obsessing over things, all of which things were completely out of my control.  Why I bother to worry about what someone else is doing or thinking, is beyond me.  I waste a lot of time and energy doing just this.  Why I can’t let go and just focus on what is within my circle of influence?  Why should I loose sleep and be upset about what someone else is doing or saying?  All things I can do nothing about.

It’s time to start.  I have more than enough going on in my life right now to keep me busy 24/7.  All of it is good in one way or another.  Even if it’s something that is uncomfortable (like my body right now from having fallen off Merlin) or scary (like being unemployed), it’s all good because it is part of my individual journey.

The computers at North Carolina Division of Employment Securities Commission randomly chose people to monitor and I’m one of them.  The Thursday before last I had to go to a meeting where I sat for fifteen minutes listening to an ESC employee make bad jokes.  Last Thursday, I had to go back on an individual basis and listen to the same employee.  It was all quite depressing.  In order to remain “in compliance” I have to call this employee today at 10:00 AM.  I don’t even have to talk to him, I have to call and leave a message with my name, telephone number and last four digits of my social security number.  Lovely, huh?  Calling in is certainly better than having to go there again.

So since I have to stick around until 10:00 in order to make that call I hope to be able to get some house cleaning done.  This house is in desperate need of cleaning and I just can’t get myself to get it done. There’s so many other things more interesting destructive to do.  What would I be doing that’s destructive?  Why reading the Blogs of people that I really care nothing for.  I guess it’s a case of morbid fascination.

I will ride Merlin today and I’m on the fence about what to do with Split.  I don’t trust her not to run in and nip his heels again and I don’t want a repeat of what happened Saturday.  If it had to happen, I’m glad it did while Wally was around.  He told me afterward that the first thought that came to his mind was “this is it with the damned horses.”  I admit, I thought the same thing.  This was the first time I fell off a horse, hopefully it will be the last.  I suppose what I need to do is to make sure Split is where I can see her at all times and make sure the girth is good and tight.

I haven’t put up a Christmas tree in years.  I can’t recall the last time I put one up; I haven’t put one up since I’ve been in North Carolina and a few years ago, I took most of my decorations and ornaments to Goodwill.  I called up to the Christmas Tree Farm late in the day on Saturday to see how many trees they had left and was told only one: a small one.  I know exactly which tree it is and asked that they hold it for me.  On Thursday I was up there helping put the trees back up on posts.  The wind blew them down.  Some of those trees were bloody heavy.  Yesterday I took out what ornaments I kept and at some point today, I’ll meet up with Wally’s sister to get some ornaments that they recently separated out to bring to Goodwill.  So it seems we’ll have a Christmas tree this year.

Yesterday we got some more free meat and on Wednesday I’ll pick up some more scraps and another processed deer.  Deer season ends in this part of the country on December 19 so I need to get my freezers stocked up now.  We have a couple of lambs left to process if we need to, but in a few months, reasonably priced meat will go back to being harder to source.  We won’t have fresh lambs or goat kids until May or June.

Until later …