Many of my very good, very best friends are long-distance friends. Does that mean that they’d not be my friends if we were closer? Hard to say, but I am blessed to have these good people in my life no matter what their proximity.
One of these friends, Anne, contacted me some eight plus years ago when she was having trouble with one of her cats, Duke. Duke had been diagnosed with irritable bowel disease. The poor cat was about two years old at the time and had never passed a normal stool in his life. Anne was thinking about switching Duke to a raw diet, but was scared. I essentially held her hand through the process and from the day Duke was started on a raw diet, his stools have been normal.
Anne edited my book, Raising Cats Naturally. As with all things however, we cut back on our conversations as we sort of when our separate ways. Anne got into yoga and I got into Border Collies. Earlier this year Anne lost her job, not due to a lay-off, but for a worst reason. We e-mailed a bit after that, then stopped again. Earlier this week, I wrote her to let her know I had joined the ranks of the unemployed.
Even though from my last entry to this journal it seemed like I was feeling better, I really was not. Around noon yesterday I shut off my phone, turned off the computer and retreated into myself. I haven’t been able to re-connect with my homeopath, but decided that I needed to go back to the remedy Staphysagria which I took. I slept well for the first time since I’ve lost my job.
Anne wrote me yesterday around 9:00 PM: “My stomach went into knots thinking about you, as I truly DO have a sense what you’re going through feels like.” I wrote back this morning telling her how I was feeling and in reply Anne wrote: “For what it’s worth, keep things as SIMPLE as you can right now, moment to moment. Even though it seems tedious and silly, always go for the “light” instead of the dark: meaning, if there’s something at any given moment you can do that soothes your soul (snuggling a cat, for instance) run to it and do it. It’s not ‘running away’ from your woes and worries to do that, it’s putting yourself in the head space where good stuff is. And with cultivation, good stuff grows, even though part of you feels like it’s the end of the world.”
Funny, how yesterday I watched Stephen King’s The Stand (one of my favorite moves), took a long walk with the dogs (and the damned dairy goats), took a few pictures and in general, just passed the day in a very simple manner.
We continued our discussion and I told her how I would often call in sick, when I really wasn’t sick, just because I felt like I needed down time. Now here I was with unlimited down time and I didn’t know what to do with myself and was having fits of rage because of how things turned out. Anne wrote back saying she got chills from reading what I had written and said: “when I was no longer working and having no CLUE what would come next (and with no financial ability to do anything except be at home and be quiet) said something that really stuck with me. ‘When these times for quiet introspection come, they are an amazing gift.’ It feels to me like ‘the universe’ intervenes to help us out, to find our souls, and sometimes in ways that leave us feeling like shaking our fist at the sky screaming, “Not THIS way! What ARE you thinking??” But if you can trust JUST enough to lean into the idea that there is rich territory here for following your heart, I think that these ‘forced days off’ will be a bigger gift to you than you can even IMAGINE right now.”
There are many parallels in my life and those of my close friends and it’s funny how sometimes it takes a tragedy to see them clearly. Everything worked out well for Anne: she got a job where she’s paid well but can work from home, doing a job she enjoys. I enjoyed my former job, but I hated the commute. I also hate how the type of law that I work in is so tied to the economy; I hated how my job was always feast or famine. I’d like to find a job that is a bit more rescission-proof, if there is such a thing, and I’d like to not have to commute to Charlotte every day.
Anne said that the universe will not let me go splat and I hope that’s true.
Another good friend wrote me yesterday telling me in some societies there is no word for ‘work.’ The concept is foreign. You do what you have to do to survive and live, you don’t have this separate thing that takes up a huge chunk of your life, that you do separate from who you are, just to make money. How we live is extremely unnatural! She’s right. So many of us are tied to our jobs, how we are employed somehow defines us. All this so we can drive new cars, have beautiful homes with well tended yards, dine out at expensive restaurants, etc. It’s all so shallow.
This morning, I applied for a Commercial Real Estate position today at Bank of America in Charlotte. Quite frankly, I almost hope they don’t call me because if I get the job, it will just put me back into that rat race. I also applied for an Administrative Assistant position at Clark Tire here in Hickory. I expect they’ll see my resume and think I’m over qualified, but who knows …
Okay, on to the damned dairy goats. If they are loose in the 15 acres that my house sits on and I try to go anywhere, i.e. out to work the dogs, they have to come along with us. They are beyond obnoxious when they are out there. Whenever I try to go anywhere in the future, I have to put them up. Just this morning I took the dogs out for a run on the ATV. As we headed into the back fields, I heard baaaaaaa behind me. I turned around and both Rain and Esmeralda were running along behind me. Ding bats!