Portfolio Woes — again

Woke up at 2:00 this morning having anxiety attacks over — well, the darned portfolio — again.  I spent Saturday morning lusting for a new lens, which I do not need and while on this lustful course, learned something I did not know: macro (Nikon calls them micro) lenses do not allow you to photograph at your widest aperture (in the lens I was using: f/2.8) when close to an object.  I about freaked out at first.  I was trying Tulipto photograph a red tulip as wide open as the lens would go (f/2.8) but it refused! The widest it would photograph at was f/3.2.  In this exercise, I wanted to see if I could achieve the same look as the lens that I was lusting for offered.  It is close, very close even at f/3.2.  I do not need to (cannot) spend $500 on another lens because another lens is not going to make a difference.

Long story short, instead of trying to track people down to photograph to add to my portfolio, I lusted for a lens and then tore up the front yard. No wonder I am having anxiety attacks. It is supposed to rain all week, yes, all week, which means I am not going to have any directional light to photograph in.  It probably makes no difference because I probably would not have tried to get any photographs because I guess I like having anxiety attacks and loosing sleep.

Then I had a bright idea: we livestock farmers have to farm no matter what the weather.  Crop farmers might be able to get away with not caring for their vegetables when the weather is bad, but not livestock farmers. So, why not try to photograph something in the rain — something, anything at this point to try to get that image that will help build my portfolio. Meanwhile, when I am not out photographing, I have to get those images which will be included in my portfolio properly edited and ready to print plus I need to rewrite my resume plus I have a business of photography assignment due plus I need to get going on writing my final paper for history of photography.  Not that I do not have enough to do.

Tearing up the front yard? Yep. We have a little pond in the front yard.  Remember a month or so ago when we were trying to contain the ducks? While they were escaping, they found the pond and made a mess in it.  The pump in the pond hasn’t work since we moved here.  I drained it after the ducks got in it and it needs to be got going (good grammar, huh?). The surrounding area was full of grassy ground cover and daylilies which I hate.  I dug most of it up using Boris my broad fork, I will work on the rest of it this week after the rain softens the ground a bit.  It about killed me! I will replace it with comfrey and other medicinal herbs. Before I start planting in it now, I need to build up a retaining wall and improve the soil which is shot. Plus we need to get the pond working.

I also got some food herb plants planted in one of the raised beds and finally got a bunch of seeds started in the greenhouse.  I bought some tomato and cucumber seedlings which I elected to put in the greenhouse for another week … just in case.  I am not convinced the cold is over yet.  We also finished the fence preventing the goats from getting in the garden.  We cleaned out the goat shed (because the goats will be up most of the week due to the rain) and sowed some more grass seed around the building and used what we cleaned out of the goat shed as mulching material. We were busy and we ate some really good meals all weekend. Next weekend, as long as Wally does not have to work on Saturday, we will start planting in the big garden and put in the seedlings in the raised beds.

This morning, my documentary photography class is meeting at a restored mill in Lincolnton to practice videotaping for our next assignment.  I am going to go although we had the option of going somewhere else to videotape something else. I have been wanting to see this restored mill. It will be interesting to see how many students come to Lincolnton.

To add insult to injury, for some reason, the goats’ production has dropped.  Weird … had to tell one customer no milk this week.  I am sick of having too much of what people do not want and not enough of what people want.  I got two calls over the weekend from people who wanted to “drop by” to pick up milk.  Told them no, sorry, no have.  But if I had a refrigerator full of milk, no one would want it … been there too. Must get a job so that I can afford to feed our animals for us and forget depending on anyone other than Wally.

I am going to end this post with a quote that I am going to add the collection that is taped to my forehead:

Quit trying to find beautiful objects to photograph.  Find the ordinary object so you can transform it by photographing it.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Morley Baer

Until later …