Teasing rain

It seems, these days, the rain just dances around me — teasing me with its relief.  I am so glad I started so many seedlings in seed blocks so I can keep them well-watered and protect them from what has become a hostile growing environment.  I have lots of seed blocks to put in the ground this weekend (and I have a long weekend — yea!!!), all of which will be covered with row cover until it cools off, the bugs slacken off and hopefully some rain returns and I’ve got a lot more seed blocks to get started. Prepping the rows for planting is a lot of work, but it is good work. Hopefully I’ll be able to work on some of the rows this morning before going to school and I promised the rabbits I’d pick them some fresh food this morning. Part of the seeds I start in soil blocks this weekend will be for rabbit food.

I keep telling myself it’s good work. I seem to spend my life doing “good work” but it’s hard to see the results. So often, it feels like I’m just spinning my wheels. Rohan Anderson of Whole Larder Love hit it on the nail in his recent post:

“In the beginning I wanted to go extreme, I wanted everyone to return to the roots, to the soil, to provide for themselves. It didn’t take me long to realise that the many humans are simply not interested in this approach, well not in the way that I am anyway. That realisation broke my precious little naive heart. That naive, enthusiastic spirit, full of good intentions to save the world. Over the years my nativity wore down like the epidermal layers of my practiculture hands. The outcome is that I’ve become more realistic in my expectations. So much so that I have no expectations for what anyone else does, or thinks, or puts into action. I also used to care when people would criticise me, for what I was doing, or for my ‘success’ (welcome to Australia), and for that matter, I no longer give a shit. Sounds harsh, allow me to continue.”

I need to stop expecting people to appreciate what I do and to cherish what I raise because it is really good because it is not going to happen, at least not for the most part.  People just take it and sometimes they enjoy it, sometimes they even let me know they enjoy it, but for the most part, they just take it and go on. I think for the most part, people are just too busy to stop and appreciate the little things in life.

As I walk through the rabbit barn these days, I see more empty cages than I see occupied ones.  I’ve sold or culled much of my original breeding stock so that I can start new with fresh stock.  I lost size in my rabbits and I need to get it back. My record keeping was not as good as it should have been.  I’ve since gone back through my breeding records and tracked the lineage of my rabbits so I can keep better records.  Several families have purchased the rabbits so they can start their own supply of home-grown meat. That is a wonderful thing! Silver Fox are wonderful rabbits.  I am very proud to have them.

Took my first math class on Tuesday and I feel very inspired by it.  The instructor is amazing and I think I might be able to do well in this class. I do not feel quite so overwhelmed as I did the last time I wrote.  Yesterday afternoon when I got home from work, I finished up my math homework then decided I’d take the computer exam that is due on August 25.  I figured I’d just knock it out in a few minutes then head out to do chores.  Wrong! It was 60 hard questions! I worked hard at it … I thought it was all material I already knew (some of it was), but a lot I did not.  I thought I’d have to retake it in order to get a good grade, but amazingly I got 95.  Good enough for me!

I best get going and go out to milk the goats, pull some food for the rabbits and ducks and then try to get something worthwhile done.

Until later …