I admire those people who have self-confidence or are able to simply not give a damn about what other people think. I don’t know why it is that I suffer so from worrying about what other people think. I work my tail off at almost everything that I do – especially if it’s something that I’m getting paid for. If whomever I’m doing the work for doesn’t acknowledge that I did a good job, I worry that I didn’t. That’s a horrible way to live. In my gut I know that my work is good, even excellent at times and that people, in general, are either too busy or simply don’t think to say, “hey, good job, thanks.” So I’m left to wonder. It sucks.
Here I am 58 years old, completing a Bachelor’s Degree, still maintaining a 4.0 GPA, managing a program wrangling cats, trying to get back into Border Collies, running a small sort of farm and trying to keep my head above water. One would think that I wouldn’t have time to worry about what other people think. I torture myself. It sucks.
So, what do I do? I don’t know.
Daily writing practice went to crap. Maybe that would help but here I am staring at a blank screen with nothing to write. Instead I torture myself.
Until later …